"You can get more with a smile and a gun than you can with a smile."

--Al Capone

Today we were coloring in Sunday school and one of my kids says to another, "I'm going to test you for color blindness. How many fingers am I holding up?"

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I am a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I am perfect.

I wondered why the frisbee was getting bigger, and then it hit me.

Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.

With great power, comes great electricity bills.

If you can’t convince them, confuse them.

Violence is never the answer. It’s just a really good solution.

Eat right. Stay fit. Die anyway.

"Sex Robot Molested At Electronics Festival, Creators Say.
'Because they did not understand the technology and did not have to pay for it, they treated the doll like barbarians.'”

"My favorite was the Road Runner. I was enthralled by the coyote's irrepressible interest in experiments, which inspired me to conceive my own projects. It also taught me to separate reality from fiction because, no matter how great an idea it may seem at the time, nothing good ever came from igniting model rocket engines to my roller skates."

--from Coconut Cowboy by Tim Dorsey

"Buster did not want to talk about writing. It had been years since his last novel had been published, a spectacular failure at that. His literary career was encased in ice, held in suspended animation, lost to future generations. His writing had become, like a stash of rare and troubling pornography, something that must be kept hidden, an obsession that other people would be mystified to discover."

--fromThe Family Fangby Kevin Wilson

I planned to drive to Pueblo today to meet with the writers down here. As it happens, some continuing education that I have to have was being offered in Pueblo, so I got here early for it. The training ended early, so I went to the NY Pizza place to get takeaway They have a TV on the wall playing a Samuel L Jackson movie on BET, something I would literally never have seen anyplace else.

So I'm waiting on my pizza and working on my story. My character has to speak at his father's funeral.

I think my husband watches too much TV. I wrote the Christmas play for our church and my ever-helpful husband asked, "Is it a musical?"

"Yes," I told him, "because I'm working with the cast ofGlee, an unlimited budget, and daily rehearsals--not a bunch of twitchy six-year-olds, a $50 budget, and one ten-minute rehearsal."

Does anyone know a Hollywood choreographer who will work for $50 and all the sugar cookies s/he can eat? Our dance number is going to need a little work.

"The Stardust Ranch in Rainbow Valley, AZ has a lot to offer potential buyers: a 3500-square-foot home with a pool, 10 acres, barns, a gated entry...and two portals to another dimension: one at the back of the property, one in the fireplace. Owner John Edmonds and his wife bought the property 20 years ago to run a horse rescue. But he says he's killed more than a dozen extraterrestrials on the property (using a samurai sword) and has suffered many injuries in his encounters with them. He claimed the aliens tried to abduct his wife: 'They actually levitated her out of the bed and carried her into the parking lot and tried to draw her up to the craft.

I am turning over a new leaf! I am writing sweet holiday romances under my real name, and I created a new webpage for this new endeavor. Check it out at www.elysebrunnemerauthor.com today!

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