"I have neither foresight nor hindsight. I was going to hire somebody with those qualities, but it turns out I didn't."

If a nation expects to be ignorant and free, in a state of civilization, it expects what never was, and never will be.  

--Thomas Jefferson

Today's Gazette front page (below the fold):

"Trump Portrait Adorns Capital After Putin Prank."

It's not what it sounds like at all. The Colorado state Capital Building has portraits of the presidents; last year, a prankster put a portrait of Putin near where Trump's portrait would hang. The prankster was fired, the Putin image was removed, and President Trump's portrait is there now.

Aren't you glad I'm back to posting? How else would you stay informed?

New Headline--'Ants living in the Australian desert are ready for 'insect Armageddon'

Happily, Australian ants are not planning to take over the world (at least, we don't know that's what they're planning). They're just very flexible in responding to swings in temperature, rainfall, land use, etc. 

So, yay. When Armageddon does arrive, the ants will go marching two by two....

"An unnamed woman in Wichita Falls, TX was banned from Walmart after a store employee reported the woman ate half a cake from the bakery, then attempted to buy the other half (for half-price), saying she found the cake in that condition. In another Wichita Falls Walmart a woman rode an electric cart around the store's parking lot while guzzling wine from a Pringles can. She was also Walmart-shunned."

Two comments--I've lived in Wichita Falls. It's not that big. Two Walmarts seem excessive.

This is the actual headline--"Marketing Opioids Like Doritos."

Happily, we do not need to get a prescription for our favorite snack food (addictive as it may be) which was my horrified first thought. This was a serious article that quoted a pharmaceutical sales rep as saying, "[Opioid painkillers are] just like Doritos. Keep eating. We'll make more." Which is very, very sad.

E-

"A woman chased after a flasher and pinned him down after he exposed himself to her during an early morning run because she 'was not ready to see his little nut.'

The mother of two was allegedly flashed twice by the same man while jogging near a river in the US city of Boston.But the man got more than he bargained for when the 6ft 1in Israeli military veteran sprinted after him and grabbed him as he tried to flee."

From US Independent and reprinted on Yahoo News

You go, girl!

Last week a homeless guy wandered into our church to tell me about his conversation with Satan. I took notes because I am absolutely going to work this into a story someday. Here's what I've got:

Physical description: lean, leathery, neatly trimmed white beard and hair; estimated age sixty-ish; certainly does not "look" homeless/crazy/etc. He wore a wedding ring. His tee shirt was on inside-out and backwards because, he said, there was a picture of George W. Bush on the front. 

    My nine-year-old buddy, A, scared me silly when she said that she'd seen horrible things in a women's locker room.

    Paralyzed, I was afraid to ask for details.

    "I saw spiders," she continued, completely unaware of my reaction. "A huge nest of spiders!"

    I wish that spiders were the worst things I've ever seen in a locker room. Some things you can never unsee, and no amount of therapy will ever help....

First Date Don’ts #4 – 

Don’t start planning on the colors of the wedding and the names of your future children.