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Internet Writing Wisdom

"Men writing women characters: She was beautiful but didn't know it. She was 5'7" and 101 pounds. Her feet were size 3. Her hat size was infant. She'd never thrown up, not even once. Her periods lasted 45 minutes. Her top was see-through."
--Lucy Huber

I read that book!

Internet Wisdom

"Can we talk about how cute motorcycle gangs are?
--inseparable friends
--matching outfits
--going on adventures together
What wholesome adorable fun. Lucky ducks."

Editing is Hard

In the story I'm working on now I meant to write "He was wanted on stage." Instead I wrote "He was waned on stage." And spellcheck allowed it! The sun waxes and wanes! People don't wane!

Funny on the Internet

"The girl in my 3rd grade class that told everyone she was part horse and ate grass at recess is engaged and I have been ghosted 4 times in the last month. Much to think about."

What the hay?

The headline: "Airline passengers spend 11 Hours in the air going nowhere thanks to volcanic eruption and horses." The story: "A flight from Amsterdam to Mexico City was over Canada when the decision was made to turn around. The airplane returned to the airport it originated from, making this a very long flight that ultimately went nowhere." Apparently a volcanic eruption mean they couldn't land where they expected to, and a cargo of horses meant that they couldn't land anywhere else. (The story doesn't explain why.) In the comments section: "Oh great. Flying with emotional support horses now. What next???"

Mister Boffo by Jo Martin

"Genius is 99% perspiration, 5% inspiration, 10% imagination, 15% motivation, and 0% math."
--Mister Boffo by Jo Martin

Give 129% every day!

Who's at the door?

"Trap Kills Man who Rigged it to Protect His Home."

I gotta think that this guy didn't do a lot of entertaining.

Sad News

"Moments ago, Brookhaven Police answered the call each of us fears most. Dozen of donuts fell from a Krispy Kreme truck. BPD rushed to the scene, but found total carnage. The first police on the scene tried to rescue surviving donuts, but it was too late. The response time was stellar, but they couldn't beat the 5 second rule. The donuts were a total loss. The senseless loss of these delicious pastries has deeply affected all the BPD. Please keep them in your thoughts and prayers."

Deep Thoughts

As I watched the snow fall and researched the Easter play I'm writing for my church, I found this quote:

"King Solomon: the wisest man to ever live, builder of the temple, beautiful poet and national 
leader--he was a man who seemed to have it all. Yet, at the end of his life, he penned these words in Ecclesiastes 2:11:

“When I surveyed all that my hands had done and what I had toiled to achieve, everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind; nothing was gained under the sun.”
--Brittany Rust

But does his insurance cover it?

And this headline today: Doctor Saves Traveler's Life by Sucking Urine from Man's Bladder During Mid-Flight Emergency. 

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