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Life with Children

From the Mouths of Babes

    My nine-year-old buddy, A, scared me silly when she said that she'd seen horrible things in a women's locker room.
    Paralyzed, I was afraid to ask for details.
    "I saw spiders," she continued, completely unaware of my reaction. "A huge nest of spiders!"
    I wish that spiders were the worst things I've ever seen in a locker room. Some things you can never unsee, and no amount of therapy will ever help....

Quotes on Kids


Quotes on Kids:

I’m not sure what my kids did in this room, but based on the debris pattern I’d say they ritually sacrificed a chocolate doughnut.— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn)April 3, 2017

Sometimes I feel completely alone in this world.
Other times, I can’t stop to pee without a toddler coming in, and trying to brush my teeth.— JenniFerCryinOutLoud (@sip_at_home_mom)April 4, 2017

Most of being a good parent is just trying to be an average parent despite being incredibly tired.— dadpression (@Dadpression)

Cleaning Impaired

My son (16) is taking his first trembling footsteps into the adult world by laundering his own clothes. My washer/dryer is very inconveniently located in a closet in a narrow hallway in front of our only main-floor bathroom. So when Kevin dumps two or three loads of (clean!) clothes on the floor, it's messy and in the way of everybody.

"Pick it up," I told him.

He picked it up--and crammed it on top of the washer/dryer and closed the closet door. I opened the door and was nearly buried in an avalanche of clean, dirty, and not-quite-dry laundry.

From the Mouths of Babes

I had my neighbor's six-year-old grandson again yesterday and he surprised me by saying, "My doctor said I can eat all the candy I want."

Could this have anything to do, I wondered, with a large stash of Halloween candy?

"I can have candy for dinner, too," he said.

Hmm. Really? "And for breakfast and lunch?" I asked him.

"Yep. The doctor said it's good for me."

"And what about vegetables?"

"No vegetables! And no pork chops and chicken!
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