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My Blog

Life

Fiction Isn't Fair

I'm watching a movie that's supposed to be set 300 miles north of Anchorage, AK at Christmas. As someone who lived in Anchorage for four years, I can tell you that this movie very clearly was NOT filmed anywhere near Anchorage. The bright sunlight is the first giveaway--this time of year it never gets brighter than dusk. There's hardly any snow (hah! as if!), the roads are clear, it's a real little town made of bricks and old homes and buildings and tons of traffic (but the heroine had to take a small plane to get there).

Bah Humbug!

It's December 15th and there's a million things I HAVE to do, many, many things I NEED to do, and nothing that I WANT to do.

Sigh.

I think I'll take a nap.

E-

Turkey Daze

My daughter had to work Thanksgiving Day in the ER. She had a bunch of people come in complaining of "abdominal pain." One lady even thought she was in labor. It turns out that, surprise, surprise, they had EATEN TOO MUCH and had tummy aches.

Happy Turkey Day! See you in the ER!

E-

Words to Live By


I've been trying to write funny, with mixed results. But I found this great quote by Will Rogers: "Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else."

E-

Where a Kid Can Drive You Crazier

Yesterday I took my neighbor's very high-energy six-year-old grandson to Chuck E. Cheese because, obviously, I am insane. He loved it, of course, and wants to go back next week. I spent $30 and he won...a whistle. Yes, a whistle. (WHAT was Chuck E. thinking?) Imagine the shrill blowing of a stepped-on dog toy, double the decibels, and you have an inkling of how incredibly annoying the whistle was. At least I was able to take the kid home, toss him at his dear, sweet grandparents, and burn rubber out of there.

The Most Evil Thing I've Done (This Week)

I have to confess something. It's been niggling at my conscience but, sadly, I've been more secretly gleeful than openly remorseful. Perhaps it will help my better angels if I confess. Or, perhaps, I'm just a closet exhibitionist. You be the judge.

I poured a bowl of my son's Lucky Charms cereal, ate all the marshmallow lucky charms and--this is the really evil part--I poured the rest of the yucky cereal back in the box.I should feel bad about it, shouldn't I?

But I don't.

Warning: Politically Incorrect

Quoted from a Yahoo news story:

"Wisconsin bear hunters achieved a typically high success rate during a monthlong season that concluded last week, but experts are still trying to determine why a record number of hunting dogs were killed in the process. According to the Wisconsin State Journal, at least 40 dogs were preyed upon by wolves during a hunt that allowed the use of dogs to pursue and tree black bears."
 

"Purple Carrot" responded:
"No surprise there.  Black bear lives matter.

You Gotta Laugh

In the Sunday night presidential debate, Donald Trump called on Muslims "to report stuff" they see.  (I edited the political stuff out.)

Trump's response gave rise to a hashtag — #MuslimsReportStuff — in which Muslims jokingly pushed back against Trump's response.

One time I accidentally ate pancetta bc I didn't know it was bacon. It was delicious#MuslimsReportStuff

Creepy orange clowns sighted recently across the country. Some say they saw one pacing the debate stage tonight.

You Gotta Keep Laughing


Be Afraid


My daughter Meghan has been driving for six months now and, sadly, is still a terrifying force of destruction. Last week I was riding with her when she changed lanes in an intersection while making a left-hand turn. (I'm not making this up. How could I?) Her defense: "You haven't died yet!"

Does anyone have an army-surplus tank for sale? At least that way you could feel the rumble in the street when she approaches....

Drive defensively,

E-



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