“So, this is what it’s like to actually be doomed,” said Phil. “It was always very abstract before, but now that it’s here, you know what? It’s so much worse than I imagined. Do something, you ridiculous meat clown.”

--The Wrong Dead Guy by Richard Kadrey

"Froehlich strolled out the front door. He'd ruined just enough lives today to feel really good about the doomed direction he knew his had taken."

--The Wrong Dead Guy by Richard Kadrey

"Ban pre-shredded cheese. Make America grate again."

--Vince Rozmiarek

"You can get more with a smile and a gun than you can with a smile."

--Al Capone

"My favorite was the Road Runner. I was enthralled by the coyote's irrepressible interest in experiments, which inspired me to conceive my own projects. It also taught me to separate reality from fiction because, no matter how great an idea it may seem at the time, nothing good ever came from igniting model rocket engines to my roller skates."

--from Coconut Cowboy by Tim Dorsey

Serge drove south, wearing a cheetah costume and hostage-negotiator Windbreaker, sitting next to a panda as they passed a bicyclist with dangling iguanas, looking in the rearview mirror as officers interviewed Korean salon workers, an Australian film crew, Marilyn Monroe and JFK, while a man in a camo hat ran through a dozen bodies chasing a small alligator. Serge shook his head to himself. "Life goes by way too fast when it's the same thing every day."

--fromClownfish Bluesby Tim Dorsey

     "We're almost next to him," said Coleman.

     "Get ready with the bullhorn." Serge drove closer to the narrow footpath circling the water.

     Coleman giggled. "Is he going to be surprised!"

     "That's the whole point," said Surge, reaching for a knob. "This is all about unlocking inner potential." Serge cranked the volume.

     "...Eye of the tiger!..."

"None of the Fangs could deny it: Buster was beautiful. As he walked to the front of the stage, his evening gown ridiculously sequined, his long, blond curls bouncing with the rhythm of his confident stride, the rest of his family began to realize that he might actually win. Mrs. Fang whispered, 'He's going to do it, Annie. Your brother is going to be Little Miss Crimson Clover.' Annie watched Buster, his face paralyzed with happiness, and immediately understood that, for her brother, this was no longer about making an artistic statement.

"Next time you're afraid to share ideas remember that someone once said 'Let's make a movie with a tornado full of sharks.'"

...or something no woman has EVER said?

"Freud thought the control of fire led to self-control. Around a hearth, he said, we have to suppress a primal urge to quench the flames with a stream of urine."

Catching Fire by Richard Wrangham