"You can get more with a smile and a gun than you can with a smile."

--Al Capone

"My favorite was the Road Runner. I was enthralled by the coyote's irrepressible interest in experiments, which inspired me to conceive my own projects. It also taught me to separate reality from fiction because, no matter how great an idea it may seem at the time, nothing good ever came from igniting model rocket engines to my roller skates."

--from Coconut Cowboy by Tim Dorsey

Serge drove south, wearing a cheetah costume and hostage-negotiator Windbreaker, sitting next to a panda as they passed a bicyclist with dangling iguanas, looking in the rearview mirror as officers interviewed Korean salon workers, an Australian film crew, Marilyn Monroe and JFK, while a man in a camo hat ran through a dozen bodies chasing a small alligator. Serge shook his head to himself. "Life goes by way too fast when it's the same thing every day."

--fromClownfish Bluesby Tim Dorsey

     "We're almost next to him," said Coleman.

     "Get ready with the bullhorn." Serge drove closer to the narrow footpath circling the water.

     Coleman giggled. "Is he going to be surprised!"

     "That's the whole point," said Surge, reaching for a knob. "This is all about unlocking inner potential." Serge cranked the volume.

     "...Eye of the tiger!..."

"None of the Fangs could deny it: Buster was beautiful. As he walked to the front of the stage, his evening gown ridiculously sequined, his long, blond curls bouncing with the rhythm of his confident stride, the rest of his family began to realize that he might actually win. Mrs. Fang whispered, 'He's going to do it, Annie. Your brother is going to be Little Miss Crimson Clover.' Annie watched Buster, his face paralyzed with happiness, and immediately understood that, for her brother, this was no longer about making an artistic statement.

"Next time you're afraid to share ideas remember that someone once said 'Let's make a movie with a tornado full of sharks.'"

...or something no woman has EVER said?

"Freud thought the control of fire led to self-control. Around a hearth, he said, we have to suppress a primal urge to quench the flames with a stream of urine."

Catching Fire by Richard Wrangham

"You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club."

--Jack London

"Of course I go to church. I gotta compensate for all the things I do that would otherwise send me straight to (pitchfork city)."

Tricky Twenty-Two by Janet Evanovitch

E-

"I believe in the aboriginal line of thinking that life's adventures are the verses and choruses of your unique song, and when it is over, you are dead. So far, I am still singing, but I would point out that adventures don't come calling like unexpected cousins visiting from out of town. You have to go looking for them, and that is exactly how I wound up on Cayo Loco."

A Salty Piece of Land by Jimmy Buffett