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My Blog

Some Therapy Required

Strange News

An Arizona father woke up to find a stranger in his apartment holding his two-year-old daughter. The little girl was fine. The stranger, who had been partying in a nearby apartment, told the police that he "found a midget in a dark room" and was playing with her.

I wish I could make this stuff up.

E-

Headlines

"Some Female Fish Evolve Bigger Brains as Males Evolve Larger Genitals"

The truth really is stranger than fiction, but this explains a LOT about the world we live in.

More from the story:   STOCKHOLM, Sweden, Nov. 23 (UPI) -- New research suggests sexual conflict among fish can encourage both bigger brains and larger genitals. In lab tests involving eastern mosquitofish, scientists found males with larger genitals triggered the development of bigger female brains. Previous fish studies have shown the antagonistic relationship among predators and their prey inspires the evolution of larger brains.

All in My Family

My son told me last night that he wanted to leave for school today at 6:45 am. Okay. He starts knocking on my door at 6:30 to make sure I'm up and moving. I come downstairs at 6:50 ('cause I've heard this song before) and the boy is running around in his underwear. (An improvement over his Batman onesie, but not by much.) We eventually leave at 7:20, and he gets to school late. Again.

The boy is 16 years old. That's right. SIXTEEN.

Sigh.

E-

P.S. Honk if you see a six-foot man-child walking to school in his Batman onesie tomorrow.

Signs of the Apocalypse

Americans Have Choice Between 'Bad and Worse:' Iranian President



To quote the best Joker, Jack Nicholson: "What kind of a world do we live in when a man dressed up in a hat gets all of my press?"

Okay, Jack said "bat," but still. It's crazy that IRAN can say this about US.

E-

Even MORE Stupid Quotes



Why is it my lipstick (any brand) doesn't last on my lips for more than ten minutes, but it remains on my glass even after it's been through the dishwasher? S.P. Austin, Texas

Someone once told me that lobster tails are not actually the tails from a lobster. They said that we order a lobster tail in a restaurant, it is actually a separate creature. Is this true? P.K. Westchester, Illinois

My two dictionaries both identify the word mauve as purple and indicate the pronunciation is "mohv.

More "Stupid Questions" Quotes



How can any deodorant have a scent of its own? Why doesn't it wipe itself out? M.H. Seattle, Washington

Has all this evolution been worth it?

Is there a time limit on fortune cookie predictions? How long is it?

How do they fit all that hot air in blow dryers? Don't they ever run out?

Is the Earth at a different angle in the morning than it is at night? In the morning, I have to put something against the front door to hold it open. At night, it stays open by itself. A.L. Austin, Texas

Who could make this up?

Colorado Springs is a military town, and we have a lot of young soldiers stationed here at Fort Carson. I met one of those young men recently, and he told me one of the strangest stories I've ever heard.

At twenty-five years old, he's been married for six years. She left him five years ago and moved back to Oklahoma. In that time she's had three kids with two other men. (My hand on the Bible, I am not making this up,) In OK you can't divorce your pregnant wife, and every time this soldier tries to serve her with divorce papers, she's pregnant.

Fun and Games

I told my son that two kids in California walked off a cliff playing Pokemon Go. He said it was natural selection at work.

Road Rage

Today's paper had an article about the increase in road rage incidents. I'm sure that's not a surprise to anyone who's ever driven anywhere. People be crazy out there.

Here in Colorado Springs four middle-aged women (!), defying demographics and statistics, were involved in two road incidents over this past weekend. One of the women pulled a gun! Shocking!

I wonder if she'll have to step down as president of the PTO and bake-sale chair, or if she can still run them from jail. She certainly can't continue as car-pool coordinator and soccer-team driver, and the Girl Scouts will no longer let her be Cookie Mom.

Why I Write Fiction

One of my writer friends, a former nurse, has been helping me brainstorm my work-in-progress, a series of stories about a young resident doctor training at an inner-city hospital. My friend has been telling me I have to watchCode Black, a new show about an ER. 

So I tapedCode Black. Thirty seconds ago I turned it on, and 25 seconds ago I started crying. It was horrible! A guy had a HUGE knife sticking out of his chest, and he's telling the ER staff he begged the ambulance to take his wife and son first!
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