I am a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I am perfect.

I wondered why the frisbee was getting bigger, and then it hit me.

Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.

With great power, comes great electricity bills.

If you can’t convince them, confuse them.

Violence is never the answer. It’s just a really good solution.

Eat right. Stay fit. Die anyway.

Today I saw a Yahoo story "The 7 Reasons Why Your Co-Workers Hate You." It turns out that gossiping and chatting are on the list! Sheesh! Both of those are on my "Top Ten Reasons To Go To Work At All" list.

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Have you noticed how reading a newstory after reading the headline can be anticlimactic? I just saw a headline that read "Woman uses hypnosis as a parenting tool." There is no possible way the story can be better than that headline. And I think most parents use self-hypnosis, anyway, as a coping method. That and "It's five o'clock somewhere" is how most kids survive their childhood.

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Quote of the day: "Toast is just soft bread that's been hurt."

 

Bad relationship? Toxic atmosphere? Did you get burned? It's nothing that a little peanut butter won't fix.

"We all think we're on the outside, that we're all alone. No one thinks that they fit in."

 

This thought-provoking quote from best-selling author Barbara Samuels says it all. It sums up our own experience as well as our characters'. What you see, what you feel, what you live, all depends on where you're standing. Where the light falls and what it illuminates depends only on your perspective.

No matter how bad your day is you can be sure that somebody out there has it even worse. In fact, I just looked at a website that had twenty-five people having VERY bad days--from the sunbathing girl who got peed on by a large dog to the man running from a huge hippo--that are having a worse day than I am.

 

Now I have a mental image to help me through those bad days. Whatever's going wrong at work with me is still better than dropping the car you're supposed to fix off the car lift. A sore knee (my chronic complaint) is nothing compared to falling off a speeding skateboard and landing on your face.

Have you heard the latest tempest in a teapot? Obama's daughters, 13 and 16, were criticized for looking bored at the annual turkey pardon. The girls were there, not texting or playing on their phones, not arguing with each other, and not rolling their eyes at their parents. As a woman with two daughters of my own, I'd call that a wonderful day.

So today I'm watching the "Sexiest Videos" on music TV. Predictably, there are a LOT of mostly-naked gorgeous women writhing around. The mostly-male singers don't even pay attention to these women, which I find incredibly disrespectful. The men aren't singing to or thinking about any one woman. There's no genuine connection between two people.

The female singers are still scantily dressed and dance very provocatively. It doesn't do anything for me. There's no mystery and no emotion involved.